"Be confident in what you say," "What you have to say is important, don't say 'nevermind' when you're trying to explain something," "Be confident in you speakings," this is what I've been hearing a lot this semester. So, here's what I gather confidence is something that I lack enough that it affects how I communicate. And I've hearing how my friends speak, and listening to how i speak, it's funny. I have the confidence that I lack in my speak when it's in a "non-official" situation. I can speak with my friends pretty well, but it's @ work that I don't have the confidence that I need. I've known this, and I've managed with it, and getting more conformable. Ex. I studied for a week and a half on the knee and knee-cap, when reread the material, I knew the stuff, I just knew what would come next and how to do it, but when it came time to do it for the ACI, I couldn't do it, no life in my voice, just couldn't get it right enough...to me at least. I was making it harder, like I needed to use the biggest words, and most awesome flair for them, but no. When I speak with my friends, I still have a reluctance, and that's with the thought of not being good enough, not having anything to say. Know what! I don't always have to say something, being wordless is ok. Just absorb it, and learn more, so there is knowledge on it. After talking with one of my closest friends, I realized, I have a problems of being inferior. I find it quite funny! That for the amount of helping I do, I still feel, inadequate around the people I love, know, and care about, and everyone else that I aid.
I had a conversation about confidence with one of my closest friends. And after it I came out thinking that confidence can affect how you interact, or live. They think that it wouldn't affect the person that much....actually not exactly sure what they said, so don't quote me. My thinking is that with confidence in the right areas, one could talk to someone else about life, talk to their professor or instructor without doubt of saying the right thing. Express to that someone that if there's ever a problem, worry, excitement, surprise, that you are there for them.
Now there is change. Change occurs everywhere, at every moment, it's just there, constantly. We may not see it, b/c we may not see that big picture where the change is. I wish change would come just a little more quickly, so I can say I have confidence in my speaking. I know it'll come...any thing having take time and hard work. It's funny, i can write all of this down and not give a care in the world, but if I talk to someone about it, it get so difficult, and words are hard to string together. Again, it stuff like this I love. I love how life...just is. Yeah it sucks to go through it, but it's something that's amazing. Years from now, I'll probably say, "I can't believe that I was like that." Life is amazing; difficult, but amazing!!!!
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