It's odd. This past break I could stop thinking about her again. I don't want to think of her as if I could date her, b/c I can't. She's into another guy, and really wants it to work out well. I can't do much to help her with it, b/c it's all on her own dime. I'm not going to lie, but I do love her. I care for her and want her relationship to blossom, but these past 4 days my mind has been entertaining the idea of loving her as if I could hold her, her hand and we would be happy together. ha that boat has sailed. :) I have no idea what to do. I know that before I wanted to let her know that I do love her, the love that a friend would have for her. I didn't, I don't know why.
She's a wondeful friend. I'm there for her when she needs me. But lately there isn't anythign there, like everything is ok to a degree that we don't need to talk or walk. I'll need to go on a walk with her or some coffee, just so we can hang out. I perfer one-on-one time, that's how I relate with people. it's difficult but I feel unrushed. i do feel weird b/c it's hard to talk about something. With her though, we can sit and wait for something to be said. I feel fine. I don't have to say something. So i know that i want to walk or go get coffee. Step one, step two just let the conversation be as it is....but do I let her know that I do love her. Oh or do I just say it one day. Do I jsut say I Love You? I have no idea. I'm thinking too much, and this blog is begining to seem like crap.....uggghhh!!!! I'm off to bed b/c I have a test to do.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
life 2.3....WooOOoOoooOooOOO
Half way through my senior year of college. To be honest this semester seems so fake. I've been stressed with the fist 3 years of college from day one. This semester is the most easily doable semester ever. I feel like it shouldn't exist. I can be with my friends, study, do some work for money. Right now the thing that plagues me is my trucks issues, and my laundry. It feels like such a joke at times.
But it's my rest; I miss ATEP so much. I only hope that I'll be able to get back to it, and be able to be a useful person in the work force and honestly...volunteer to help people, help them to live longer, affect people, open others' eyes, and help to change their community, city, county, state, region, time zone, country, hemisphere, and finally world.....baby steps....
Baby steps is what's needed to make anything happen; lose weight, change habits, change a life style. There is SO much to fix, to make better, to change...even if it's not "broken," it's not right. I don't want to be the person who says something and doesn't do it (communication is important....I need to do that too.) I need to make some steps towards a healthier life. I need to act on a better eating style.
The other thing that I'm having to work is being able keep relationships that i have with my friends. I need to listen more, "no words, just emotions,"~ ST hahaha I've been doing well at it. I guess I need to understand that I really don't know everything. Life is difficult and there are trials that might suck really bad, that's all I got for now.
I was the DD a few nights ago, and it was a lot of fun. DDing is something that I really enjoy. You get to see how people are, in a slight primordial state. Some are freaking retarded when they speak, some are cognitive and just talkative, and others are just the stereotypical loving person. We went to a pretty cool place. It was packed, and a bit wild. But it was an experience that I haven't had in a while. HAHAHA I'm glad I don't drink, people do get pissed, upset, short-tempered, and different. I'm not condemning the people who drink or get drunk, but it's not something that I want to be apart of.
Like i had said earlier, it's so close to the end of college. I would love to graduate with my friends, but that's probably not going to happen. ST had said before that friends can be like seasons, here and gone. There is a certain place for them in our lives. But what I hope is that they don't leave my life. I love them all so very much and honestly hope that we can stay in contact. ST hopefully will be someone who can call me when ever, and I can call her. Chris and Kev are just as important.
Well for now I'm at work, it's 8 in the morning. I'm getting an hour for a friend who really wanted the rest. There is so much more but my mind is beginning to become flooded with thoughts. :) Sometimes I wonder if I should be a psych major, but I would probably think I have answers too. lol Thank you for listening/reading, be safe.
But it's my rest; I miss ATEP so much. I only hope that I'll be able to get back to it, and be able to be a useful person in the work force and honestly...volunteer to help people, help them to live longer, affect people, open others' eyes, and help to change their community, city, county, state, region, time zone, country, hemisphere, and finally world.....baby steps....
Baby steps is what's needed to make anything happen; lose weight, change habits, change a life style. There is SO much to fix, to make better, to change...even if it's not "broken," it's not right. I don't want to be the person who says something and doesn't do it (communication is important....I need to do that too.) I need to make some steps towards a healthier life. I need to act on a better eating style.
The other thing that I'm having to work is being able keep relationships that i have with my friends. I need to listen more, "no words, just emotions,"~ ST hahaha I've been doing well at it. I guess I need to understand that I really don't know everything. Life is difficult and there are trials that might suck really bad, that's all I got for now.
I was the DD a few nights ago, and it was a lot of fun. DDing is something that I really enjoy. You get to see how people are, in a slight primordial state. Some are freaking retarded when they speak, some are cognitive and just talkative, and others are just the stereotypical loving person. We went to a pretty cool place. It was packed, and a bit wild. But it was an experience that I haven't had in a while. HAHAHA I'm glad I don't drink, people do get pissed, upset, short-tempered, and different. I'm not condemning the people who drink or get drunk, but it's not something that I want to be apart of.
Like i had said earlier, it's so close to the end of college. I would love to graduate with my friends, but that's probably not going to happen. ST had said before that friends can be like seasons, here and gone. There is a certain place for them in our lives. But what I hope is that they don't leave my life. I love them all so very much and honestly hope that we can stay in contact. ST hopefully will be someone who can call me when ever, and I can call her. Chris and Kev are just as important.
Well for now I'm at work, it's 8 in the morning. I'm getting an hour for a friend who really wanted the rest. There is so much more but my mind is beginning to become flooded with thoughts. :) Sometimes I wonder if I should be a psych major, but I would probably think I have answers too. lol Thank you for listening/reading, be safe.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
why cna't I add a picture....grr more frustration
Half way through my senior year of college. To be honest this semester seems so fake. I've been stressed with the fist 3 years of college from day one. This semester is the most easily doable semester ever. I feel like it shouldn't exist. I can be with my friends, study, do some work for money. Right now the thing that plagues me is my trucks issues, and my laundry. It feels like such a joke at times.
But it's my rest; I miss ATEP so much. I only hope that I'll be able to get back to it, and be able to be a useful person in the work force and honestly...volunteer to help people, help them to live longer, affect people, open others' eyes, and help to change their community, city, county, state, region, time zone, country, hemisphere, and finally world.....baby steps....
Baby steps is what's needed to make anything happen; lose weight, change habits, change a life style. There is SO much to fix, to make better, to change...even if it's not "broken," it's not right. I don't want to be the person who says something and doesn't do it (communication is important....I need to do that too.) I need to make some steps towards a healthier life. I need to act on a better eating style.
The other thing that I'm having to work is being able keep relationships that i have with my friends. I need to listen more, "no words, just emotions,"~ Sloane hahaha I've been doing well at it. I guess I need to understand that I really don't know everything. Life is difficult and there are trials that might suck really bad, that's all I got for now.
But it's my rest; I miss ATEP so much. I only hope that I'll be able to get back to it, and be able to be a useful person in the work force and honestly...volunteer to help people, help them to live longer, affect people, open others' eyes, and help to change their community, city, county, state, region, time zone, country, hemisphere, and finally world.....baby steps....
Baby steps is what's needed to make anything happen; lose weight, change habits, change a life style. There is SO much to fix, to make better, to change...even if it's not "broken," it's not right. I don't want to be the person who says something and doesn't do it (communication is important....I need to do that too.) I need to make some steps towards a healthier life. I need to act on a better eating style.
The other thing that I'm having to work is being able keep relationships that i have with my friends. I need to listen more, "no words, just emotions,"~ Sloane hahaha I've been doing well at it. I guess I need to understand that I really don't know everything. Life is difficult and there are trials that might suck really bad, that's all I got for now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
