Summer is over or almost over. I'm about to be busy again. I'm going to changing majors. I don't know if I'm making the correct decision. My closest friend thinks I am. My parents saw I wasn't doing well in my previous major. I'm almost done with the ATEP program. I'm tired of the people the classes and the requirement of it though. I've just become burned out by it. I love the stuff that it require us to do "out there." I want to finish it and be a useful person to others and help to maintain their lives so they can live long and healthy lives so they'll be around for their kids lives, to see grandchildren and have many Christmases with their families.
My dream job is the work with Outward Bound for some time. To lead people through the challenges and to see them grow out of who they are in there life before this. Seeing them realize that life is challenging but is manageable, exciting, and unpredictable. What am I good @? What do I love/am I passionate about? ...... The growth of people, learning, having others learning, understanding people, b/c that allows me to find out about who I am and how I fit in with others. I love figuring stuff out, but having help to support me and for me to talk things about. Their perspectives and their beliefs.
I'm about to start a position in the council that I'm in. I'm nervous, anxious, excited, like the feeling when you get when you're about to see her for the first time a long time, getting ready for prom. So it's a good feeling. I have a vision for the group, i just hope they will have one too. It's not my vision that I want to set the group on, it's our vision.
She's lost the person who made her happy. I could see it just before it actually happened. It was in her countenance. I was amazed at how bad I felt for her. I didn't have feeling for him, but her brokenness made me feel an ache too. This is a feeling that I find very uncomfortable. I don't like going to bed with this feeling. An actual ache in my chest, in my heart.
So all I understand now is that I'm changing majors, my friends aren't feeling a hundred percent right now, and I'm unsure about what my future holds. I know that my parents are behind me with support. My friends are there. She believes in me, should that really matter to me.... yeah b/c if i didn't then I wouldn't have said something...hahaha oh the fun of analyzing! :) School is abuot to start, and I'm going to need to focus ALOT this semester and if I do well....can I do SLC...no b/c of practicum. Either way I'm here, right now. I need to enjoy it. But also when this is done, what will I do next? What needs to be done after graduation? What do I see myself doing after I get the degree? What do I see myself going?
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