well, maybe not that, but if I could just make my friends happy that would be amazing. I've been kinda, a no show. Why? Well lets see, for some reason, "thankful_servant" wants to do SLC, his major requires him to sell his soul to the program. And of there's the new issue, are you ready, b/c I was shocked when I found it out..... I'm the kind of person that love structure, purpose, and to know that I'm doing something that has an end, perse. And best of all I hate feeling like a failure, which of course is going to happen many times in my life, and well I'm failing as a friend. I want to know how they're doing. I feel bad that I'm not "around," and when one of them says, "why don't you just quit SLC and be with us," or "haven't seen you around a lot lately." Me personally, that hurts. Yeah, so what! but you know I have an issue about not wanting to abandon people. Probably b/c I was abandoned a lot when I was little. I don't know, this is me just working through thoughts. It's something that I either need to just get over, or learn to not do it. There are so many amazing things to learn....
But right now, I have a blasted Medical- Terminology test today. I just want to cry at how hard perceive this test. I've had one of my friends fail it 3 times, and he passes it last semester. I have a paper that is due today but I'm studying for my med-term test, so she'll have to be patient w/ the arrival of the paper. It's funny, I wrote a devotion yesterday for a club that I'm in, and my mother called. I haven't seen her since my junior year in high school....I don't wish to see her. I say something now b/c the two are related, and they are two things that I need to work on. Man, this truly is going to be an interesting semester. I only hope for strength to make it through everything that is going. And to be as good a friend as I can be.....why do I care about many things? Why do I have to struggle with life? Why can't it just be easy? I have so many questions, and I'm sure non will be answered anytime soon. Until then, I'll search for a few, live, teach, love, care, feel pain, and hope for the best.
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Now playing: The Killers - When You Were Young
via FoxyTunes
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