I went to a fireworks display over in Chatty last night. It was such a wonderful time to be there. So many people there. All their children to come and experience something amazing. So many generations of people there. People from different times, with different histories, with different perspectives on what the USA has been, is, and can be.
On the surface, we are a community that loves each other, and are united by our devotion to our country. Something to feel proud, something to smile, and something to celebrate about. We are free to be who we wnat to be and have oppurtunities to achieve many things. It's something amazing to see and compare, that we are able to assemble together for fun and for no real purpose. We aren't gathering to be told that we are going to war, or to be addressed that we have to change something, that the new dictator is someone who will change things. We aren't being manipulated.... and being made to do anything against our wills.
The other thing that struck me odd this time are amount of kids and their fathers that were there. The family was there. They were there having fun, chasing each other, playing games, playing cards. I guess just being a normal family. Interestingly enough, I felt different at this site. I wasn't sad or upset. i think it was something of longing, a wishing for that. My parents here are amazing and love me. When i was little I didn't have a father. It was mom and me. So maybe it was b/c of the site of the families playing together and having fun, that made me long for "that." Honestly, I've never really cared about my dad, b/c my parents now are the people who love me and take care of me, they are the people to took the time to get to know me and love me. But this was the first time that I felt sad about it.
My friends are growing up too. They have found people and are ever so happy, or at least they appear it to me. I feel so ecstatic for them b/c they've been wanting to be happy but couldn't find the right thing. and it funny, b/c I've heard before that when your friends start dating, you start to become a little jealous or "left out." But it's not he jealousy or being left behind. It's the fact that you realize that it's time to move on. Things will change, and relationships will solidify is certain ways. I know I'm proud for them and honestly hope for the best, b/c they've need happiness like this for a LONG time! :) or at least from where I see it. One is getting married. This excites me, b/c they needed to be for a long time. I just hope it goes well, I'm sure it will, b/c they've been able to understand each other, learn about each other, and have practically lived together. I really love both of them so I'm excited to see them get together.
They are growing up, one is going to join the peace corp. WOW! now that's some fun. i would love to do that. They are figuring stuff out, and getting ready to take on the what's ahead. I guess I'm not a prepared, or so it feels. I have some much to learn and gain before I can afford a house, pay rent, bills, and buy my groceries. I more frightened, the planning that will need to be done. I love having a plan, but this one is something that if I mess up, I'm in the hole, for a long time. But it's somethign that will be done whether I like it or not. I'm not ever sure how to start. i just need to finish my undergrad, and maybe go straight to grad school, peace corp, or job. Who knows....I'll need to soon. haha
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Now playing: Ingrid Michaelson - The Way I Am
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