It's odd. This past break I could stop thinking about her again. I don't want to think of her as if I could date her, b/c I can't. She's into another guy, and really wants it to work out well. I can't do much to help her with it, b/c it's all on her own dime. I'm not going to lie, but I do love her. I care for her and want her relationship to blossom, but these past 4 days my mind has been entertaining the idea of loving her as if I could hold her, her hand and we would be happy together. ha that boat has sailed. :) I have no idea what to do. I know that before I wanted to let her know that I do love her, the love that a friend would have for her. I didn't, I don't know why.
She's a wondeful friend. I'm there for her when she needs me. But lately there isn't anythign there, like everything is ok to a degree that we don't need to talk or walk. I'll need to go on a walk with her or some coffee, just so we can hang out. I perfer one-on-one time, that's how I relate with people. it's difficult but I feel unrushed. i do feel weird b/c it's hard to talk about something. With her though, we can sit and wait for something to be said. I feel fine. I don't have to say something. So i know that i want to walk or go get coffee. Step one, step two just let the conversation be as it is....but do I let her know that I do love her. Oh or do I just say it one day. Do I jsut say I Love You? I have no idea. I'm thinking too much, and this blog is begining to seem like crap.....uggghhh!!!! I'm off to bed b/c I have a test to do.
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