A Devotion....

I did my first devotion in my sport psychology class. I didn't like it b/c I don't like the idea of people seeing how I struggle. I'm game for being there for others, but I find it hard to let people know that I need them. Since day-one of this semester, it's been difficult. I can do the work, and function in class, but it's life now that's making my days difficult. I've been good at keeping my emotions from dominating my mind and what I'm doing, but so far, I've had to leave something so that I don't have to worry about bursting out.....I may have lost the control of my emotions that I had. Why has this happened? I shouldn't allow my emotions control, it's a response that originates in the brain, so I should be able to control them. But during my devotion, I was able be coherent but it was hard to not cry. I broke down, now this is highly discomforting, having to do a devotion to begin with, and then breaking-down.

I did a devotion on Psalms 88 and Romans 8:26-28. It's hard to live and to go through life with what we do. Sometimes I do feel that I'm alone, but I remember that Christ is there with me. Praying for me just as much if not more than I'm praying to him. The prof made the guys in the class huddle behind me and pray for my weakness and for my strength. It was highly comforting this time, to know that these people care enough to pray for someone who doesn't know them well enough.

I've found out what to tell a friend about how I feel and that I hope things go well for her. It's been a while, I've been trying to figure out what to say and how to say it....I has to be perfect!!! hahaha But i know now that I doesn't and it's quite simple. But for now, I need to go talk to someone that I trust, and release what I've been holding in. There is so much more to say and some much to express, but for now I'll end it on this..... It is difficult to smile at what life has dealt you, but find a way to smile, and learn from it. Find someone to express things to: ideas, thoughts, complaints, happiness, and crying. Be comfotable and don't fret, please don't fret. It'll be ok. :: smiles and hugs::

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