Smiling...

I'm smiling right now, it's one of those, "wow, I can't believe that I'm going through this thought" smiles. We care for people and it's b/c of these people, that we feel like we fit in; it's their reciprocation of this caring-ness that makes you want to stay. But let's say there is no reciprocation, how do you deal with that, how do you let them know about it, why should you continue on caring? Here's my thinking, what I'm going through with that situation. We stay b/c we want that good feeling of acceptance when they do give back. As time goes on, you don't want that anymore, you want to help them. Your feelings haven't changed, perse, but it's the way you go about it. It's the attitude that you carry. We don't need to let others dictate how we feel or what to feel. If we "feel" then by all means go ahead. It's there for a reason.....but what's the reason. THis is difficult, b/c it may take (hahaha) years or days, for one to realize what the reason is. It's takes time to understand what's going on in our lives. For me, man, it's taking a bit longer than I hoped it would be.

It is caring about the other person(s) that does get hard. B/c we become so connected to people, we open ourselves up....but how much is too much. Will we actually be left empty when we do find that special someone. Either way, your friends are growing. You can see it, and you're just so proud of them for being so amazing. On my end, it's difficult to let them know that I'm aware of what going, or how i perceive what going on. But I can say this, it's just amazing to see my friends growing up, seeing them becoming aware of life and going through some of the toughest times that they'll have in a long time. People say college is the best time of our lives b/c of the community that we have and people we meet. For me, no, it's being able to find who we are, with other people, by ourselves, and finding what we push ourselves to be. There definatly some drama along the way, but you know, there are also sometime where you're just so happy you can't figure it out. I have a picture of one my friends, I hit them in th head with a snow ball, and it left an amazing little pile about and inch tall on their head. This picture alone can make me so happy. WHY!!?! It might be the expression of the person face, the weather, the excitement/mood associated with the picture, or something that I can't think of. What ever it is, it's something that I smile at.

What causes a smile? Why is it so important? Are there various types of smiles? Why do they come at random times? ........ ::deep breath:: There are a lot of things we go through, and so few times we can talk to someone or express them. But don't worry, b/c someone will come, the time will come where we'll express it all, maybe not at once, but it'll be expressed. :)

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