::sigh::

I was so close to telling her. But then i had to screw the whole thing up with one little act. She doesn't know about it or how I feel. It's fruitless for me to tell her. I think so.... I feel so defeated. They're embarrassed and watching the stars. I'm picking up an application for someone. She's happy. That's a good thing. That's what makes me feel glad....but honestly I feel so broken. It's funny b/c I feel like a duck, calm on the surface, but working so hard underneath the water.

So tomorrow, will be another day. A chapel, a class, and an end of the week. A weekend. Homework, in the PCSU, and bed at 1. A comfortable day, found in content. Nothing different, exciting, or great. Except for my best friend. My favorite person to talk to, to listen to, to wonder things with. :) I'm glad you're happy now, you haven't told me yet, but I can pull things from vagueness, from you and others. This makes me happy. Work hard for it, and endure. I love you. I really do love you. I've never felt more sure. This is what I wanted to say, this is what I hoped to say....I might still, but my hoping for anything more has been shot.

Have a most wonderful evening. Sleep well, with a smile, warmth in your heart, and calm in your self. I hope tomorrow will be good to you. You deserve it, and fun.

Good Night! Take Care :)